The Amazing Culture Race

One of our family traditions here in Africa is watching episodes of the Amazing Race. I won't mention how we acquire them, but we have a good time on weekend nights watching the show. So far this season I'd been a bit disappointed in the destinations of the race, finding them to be beautiful but too "easy": the US Virgin Islands, the UK (they didn't encounter foreign languages until leg 4!), Scandinavia, Morocco (the only African country was time spent at a tourist trap in this country), Italy, Malta, and Singapore (even the most exotic places on the list are plush and tourist-friendly). Finally, however, on the past episode, they arrived in the Philippines, and culture hit the 4 remaining teams in the face.

I was fascinated to watch how the 4 teams responded to their surroundings. While there are probably more than 4 ways to respond to foreign (third world) culture, I thought these were pretty representative:

Team 1 (a team we root for and has many, many good qualities) said "let's just pretend we don't smell anything" and "we decided to just stay away from the water here." Although it was only two quotes, their general attitude was to IGNORE. They seemed to want to treat the culture like any other place, and not engage in it at all.

Team 2 (a team we find annoying often) was absolutely disgusted. They retched at smells, they complained, they turned up their noses. Their reaction was REJECTION, plain and simple. 

Team 3 looked around them on the "taxi" ride and couldn't help but notice the poverty. They were heart broken at seeing unclothed kids in the streets, often just sitting alone. They were astonished at the dangers of every day life. They said they definitely felt that they were CHALLENGED by what they saw, and that it gave them time to reflect on how blessed their lives really are.

Team 4 was giddy. They looked around them, saw how everything was different, and it made them laugh (in a good way). They talked about how they got to get right into the culture and pretend to be a part of it for a little while. They sought out what was different and enjoyed it. They EMBRACED the cultural differences.

Now, you might think I'd say that there is a hierarchy of how you "should" react to cultural differences. But things were (and are) a little more complicated. The team that rejected everything around them took up a challenge hauling in fish in the water. Initially disgusted, they jumped into the challenge, and when it started to rain hard, the hardship got them to dig deep, and they ended up embracing the challenge. Maybe they didn't embrace the culture per se, but their attitude changed dramatically. Sometimes I suspect that people living (or visiting) overseas may at first be overwhelmed by all the changes and the smells, and the sights. But through perseverance, they realize that a lot of those things don't really matter in the end. I know that our family can relate a lot to that.

The couple that was moved by the poverty was inspiring, and the TV show doesn't say what comes next for them. But this often happened on service projects I've been on. Your eyes are opened to the worldwide problems of poverty, and it makes you realize how much you take for granted. But...what next? Too often,we are moved to either throw money at the problem to make ourselves feel better, or maybe even try to pretend we never saw the problem, or try to rationalize it away ("nothing I do could make a difference because of all the corruption in that society"). Challenge is a good first step, but what comes next can be really tricky and complex. The book "When Helping Hurts" is getting short-term mission organizations to really stop and think about the impact of sending rich white Christians all over the world to try to "help everybody with their problems." I wish I could offer more insight in what SHOULD come next after being challenged. For me, it meant making a longer term commitment -- to try to live in a place where I could do some good, and not just visit. But I don't know if that's what everyone should do.

And the team that embraced their surroundings was off to a great start, but again in a limited TV show, who knows what happens next. Too often, ex-pats have a great honeymoon period overseas, astonished at all they see, but then they crash when those differences cease being exotic and fun and start impacting their lives negatively. (That's the true definition of culture shock.) And is embracing culture always the best thing? In their giddiness, could the team have been blinded to the poverty and problems of that culture? Would they be effective agents for change in a culture that needed it?

But of course it's easy to judge Team 1 harshly, the team that (seemed to) choose to ignore the culture around them. Who would do that? But it's a real temptation for missionaries here, including myself. It's pretty easy to walk home from my air-conditioned computer lab and go right into my comfortable, big villa that overlooks the ocean each day. It's easy to "hole up" on the weekends and only leave if absolutely needed. I struggle to learn the language and have figured out how to say "asante" in various ways in order to get through every social interaction with a local Tanzanian. So, yes, ignorance, even while living in a place for 15 months, is easy to embrace.

(EDIT: New Ending)
What's important here, I think, is that you become aware of how you are reacting in a foreign culture. That's more important than the reaction itself! How you initially react to a strange place can be difficult to predict or control. After all, you might be planning to whole-heartedly embrace your new surroundings, only to land in a potentially dangerous situation, or be faced with poverty unlike anything you imagined.

But being aware of that reaction is key to moving to a new stage of cultural awareness and sensitivity. Whether we tend to try to ignore cultural differences, reject them, be challenged by them, or embrace them, we all have a similar journey moving forward. We keep ourselves moving ahead by small steps, in prayer and faith, trying to build God's diverse kingdom in a complex world. Search for WHY you react the way you did. Probably, the root cause will tell you something about yourself that you never realized before. Maybe you'll realize that beliefs you long held to be absolute truth are a bit, well, bendy. Maybe you'll discover that there are beliefs you should be holding on to even tighter. If you're honest with yourself, you might find out that God is bigger than you ever imagined, and that He loves people more deeply than you could ever comprehend.

Broken

With a high unemployment rate and rampant poverty, Tanzania is a country rife with petty theft. Unfortunately, today I was a victim.  I was volunteering at the U11 football tournament as a time-keeper and scorer on the HOPAC football pitch.  This pitch is enclosed by a fence, and anytime there is a match, there are tons of Sala Sala kids hanging over the fence and cheering.  I always love to see this, because they are so excited to be part of the action.  In fact, I joke that HOPAC-Sala Sala matches are actually a double home game.

Because I was intently tracking the game, I didn't see what happened, but suddenly noticed that my purse, which had been hanging on the chair by my elbow, was now wedged into the fence and all the children had fled.  Thankfully, my phone and driver's license were still there, but I estimate that I lost about 50,000 Tsh in cash (about $30 USD).

While I am upset about losing the money, it's the action itself that feels like a knife in my heart. After going into the quarry three times a week with service learning this term, and helping with Kids Klub at HOPAC once a week for a year, I feel invested in this community.  I feel like I know many of these kids, some of them even by name, and I know that a lot of them know me because they greet me by name.  We have a relationship, and this action of theft results in brokenness.

My first reaction is one of betrayal:  how could you do this to me?  Me, who loves you and wants only the best for you.

And then I think:  this is how God must feel, every time we sin.  He loves us.  He wants only the best for us, and yet we repay him with sin after sin, willful disobedient act one after another.  Our relationship is continually broken and yet His mercies are new every morning.  How amazing is His love!

Unfortunately, my love is not supernatural and so it's going to take the reconciliation work of the Holy Spirit in my heart to fully get past this.   I do know that this action was only of a few kids and I'm trying not to let it color my view of the community as a whole.  I also know that their poverty is very real, and my comparative wealth is humbling.  My plans for that money were some snack foods and Christmas gifts at the HOPAC Family Fun Day.  This money was not necessary for my survival. I also know that this theft is a very rare event.  I'm always struck by how honest these poor kids are.  If a ball goes over the fence, it comes back.  If they ask to take a turn borrowing my sunglasses or watch, these items are always returned before I leave.

With the help of Shaun, who leads the Kids Club, we quickly learned who the thieves were.  I did recover 20,000 of the money and I had the chance to talk to the ringleader, who was obviously frightened and upset,  All I said was in my broken Swahili.  "I am very sad because I go into the quarry every week and I love the children of Sala Sala."

I pray for the working of the Spirit in all our lives - the victim and the thieves - and that what was broken can be restored.

It's Beginning to Look a Little Like Christmas...

...Even though it's in the 90s with high humidity, so it certainly doesn't feel like Christmas!

With some crazy helpers in tow, we got things rolling on the decor front yesterday.

 (photo credits Emily Steen)

Shameless plug for Christmas mail:  please, please, please send us cards.  We probably won't get them until January, but when we do, it will feel like Christmas all over again!  Please send them to HOPAC, c/o Tim Steen, P.O. Box 70027, Dar es Salaam, Tanzania.

We promise to do this with your cards:

One week from today, things will really get festive with the much-anticipated arrival of Grandma.

Happy Advent!

Decision Time

We got an innocuous-looking piece of paper from HOPAC a couple of weeks ago that raised a topic we were hoping to avoid for several more months:  the weighty matter of what we are doing next school year.

Besides "I plan to stay" and "I do not plan to return," there was also the wishy-washy option of "I am undecided," which we gratefully selected.  Actually, because we were so overwhelmed by thinking about this decision, we uncharacteristically failed to hand in the paper on time but had to be hunted down for our answer.

That bought us some time, but we've got to give a firm answer by early January, which means that it is officially Decision Time.  I personally feel like my mind is constantly spinning through this important question and so I'd really like it settled sooner rather than later.  And our kids, too, need some clarity on what life will look like after June.  Emily just had her last football match of the season and, even more than losing in the finals, she was upset because she didn't know if it was her final game in a HOPAC uniform or not.

In an effort to move things along, we had a family meeting this past week to gauge everyone's initial thoughts and reached unanimous consensus....we're all equally undecided on what to do.   In some ways, this is a really good thing:  we have managed to find joy here but we also really love it back in the U.S.  It's the best of all worlds...except when you need to actually make a decision.

Leaving the U.S. to come here was a radical decision but it was an easy one.  It was a very clear path and everything fell perfectly in place as we felt God's hand leading us in every step.  However, it was also more of a leaving "for now" rather than "forever."  We did feel like we'd be back in NJ sooner or later and so saying goodbye to loved ones felt easier.  Although I have learned to never say "never," leaving Tanzania feels like it will be more of a "forever" leaving, and just imagining saying farewell to very dear friends already makes me sad.  Overall, it feels like the longer we're here, the easier it gets.  It seems a shame to leave just when I'm finally feeling conversant in the language and we are learning kids' names and beginning to really impact their lives.

But New Jersey is home, too, and we have a lot of good ministry opportunities awaiting us there,  We love our school, church, and community there.  Friends and family eagerly await our return.  And it would be really great to have an easier daily life, good health care and a cooler climate.

On the advice of our friend Mike, we read a book called "Discovering God's Will," by Jerry Sittser, before we moved to Tanzania.  The book debunks the misconception that many people have that God has one clear path for our lives.  Rather, if we are prayerfully and faithfully pursuing God's will, any number of paths will be glorifying to Him.  I do feel like this is the case here - neither one is "wrong" or "right."  

There are so many pros and cons to both decisions that I won't bore you all.  But please be in prayer that, whatever the decision, we feel at peace with God's leading and that we'll be equipped to carry out whatever tasks and challenges face us in the coming months.

Thanks-giving

Right now, most of my U.S. family and friends are sleeping peacefully, dreaming of the turkey, pumpkin pie and fellowship that await them later today.  I'm sitting here sweating profusely at 8 am with a day ahead of me that includes service-learning in the quarry, a trip to the market, and marking grade 11 journals.  In other words, a normal day.

Due to a fluke in the school calendar last year, we had off from school both for Thanksgiving and the day after, and we also had U.S. family visiting, so even though our celebration was far from "traditional," (we went to the beach that morning), it still felt familiar.  This year is really the first time there feels like there is a giant hole in my celebration calendar and I do feel homesick.

Thanksgiving is by far by favorite holiday.  I love it all - the meal planning, food preparation, worship service, watching the Macy's parade on TV, the eating, fellowship, board games, the 4 1/2 day weekend, and even the leftovers.  And we're planning to re-create some of those favorite traditions on Saturday with some of our HOPAC family.  At last count I think we'll have a celebration with 29 of our U.S. friends!

However, as I sit here reflecting on all I miss about home, I'm reminded that the true purpose of this holiday is not all about the food and the family, but rather the action of actually giving thanks.  And I can do that anywhere, anytime, and in any way.  I don't need pumpkin pie to do this.

We've got a lot to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.  Among the many things, 4 stand out:
* Health - particularly Josh's recovery from an appendectomy.  Continued protection from malaria, dengue, and serious injury.

* Home - we're in this beautiful home for another year.  I am thankful for it every day.

* Community - we've got an amazing community here and also back home.  We are so thankful for the love, support and prayers we receive!

* School/work - we feel very thankful to be a part of this amazing international school called HOPAC.  There are so many great things that we get to experience.

Wherever you are, have a wonderful Thanksgiving!  And don't forget to really give thanks.

African Appendectomy Adventure!

last Friday, we had no idea that we were about to enter 4 days of craziness.  Josh had woken up that morning with significant pain in his lower right side, which had come out of nowhere.  Being the kind and compassionate mother that I am, I told him in no uncertain terms that his class was leading assembly and he was going to school, period.  But we were worried enough to start Googling his symptoms and had a working theory that this might be appendicitis although we convinced ourselves that we were overreacting.

I took one look at him after school and knew that things were serious.  He couldn't even walk upright and was clutching his side in pain as he walked.  Every bump in the road that we drove over (and there are many bumps here) caused him to wince and cry out in pain.  Once I got him home, I saw that he was also running a fever.  As soon as Tim got home from coaching football, he took him to the local clinic.

Josh has had a rough couple of weeks and has been to this clinic not once but twice for X-rays on both hands (no fingers broken, just badly sprained).  While they were sitting in the waiting room this time, the doctor that had treated Josh in the past remembered him and greeted him on his way out the door for the night, asking how his finger was.  Tim explained that, although the finger was healing, we now suspected appendicitis.  This doctor immediately dropped his things and ushered Josh into a room to examine him.  An exam and an ultrasound confirmed that he had appendicitis, and the doctor recommended going downtown to the hospital immediately.  (Side note:  this doctor even came downtown to check in on Josh several days later - I was so impressed with him!)

Thus began a flurry of calls to our insurance and to friends with medical backgrounds.  The number one worry on all our minds was, Is the care here in Dar acceptable?  And if not, where should we go and how should we get there?  This to me was the worst one hour period of the experience.  Tim was with Josh and I was with Charlotte.  Trying not to panic while sorting through options and getting childcare settled was extremely stressful.  I'm very thankful to Amy and Lauren for being clearheaded thinkers and keeping me (mostly) grounded.  Once Tim and I were together again, I felt much better.  This whole experience has confirmed to me that we are a really good team and much stronger together than apart.

Pretty much from the start, Tim and I felt very uncomfortable taking Josh anywhere outside of Dar.  We believed that time was of the essence and there were just too many unknowns with flying him to Nairobi (not the least of which was that it was Friday night and even getting to the airport could have been a multi-hour process).  When our doctor friend said that Aga Khan was very experienced at appendectomies, we felt a lot of peace with the decision.  In fact, it turns out that another appendectomy had been done earlier that afternoon!  Even this hospital, although probably less than 10 miles away, felt really far away from home.  Traffic is unbelievable, and our multiple visits to and from the hospital involved a traffic ticket, dangerous debris in the road, crazy drivers, a near-overheating of the car, and an attempted extortion of money to park in the free hospital parking lot.

The next 3 hours in the ER were a blur.  More testing was done, including a CT scan, bloodwork was completed and an IV tube was inserted into Josh's hand (which was extremely painful.  I'm sad to say he inherited my deep veins so it took them two tries).  Just before 11 pm, he was wheeled up for surgery.  We were hoping that we could stay with Josh until he was put under anesthesia, but unfortunately we had to wait outside.  And by outside, I mean actually outside in the open air.  I spent a lot of that time quietly freaking out that we were probably getting bitten by malaria-infected mosquitoes.

Although we were promised that the surgery was very fast, between 15-30 minutes with some recovery time, that was not the case.  I had mentally given myself an hour and 15 minutes before allowing myself to panic and unfortunately we passed that threshold.  Fortunately, I really felt a sense of peace and calmness and I know it was due to the hundreds of prayers being offered up around the world on his behalf.  We were so thankful for our friend Marc, who posted Facebook updates on our behalf since we did not have a working smartphone.

It turned out that Josh's appendix was actually tucked away differently than most peoples' and so it took longer and required a bigger incision.  It also turned out that the cecum, which is the adjacent part of the large intestine, (which I only learned after looking this up) was also badly infected and so Josh was put on strong antibiotics.

Finally, the surgeon emerged to say that all went well.  He then showed us the appendix in his surgical tray, looking like a curved swollen pinky finger or little hot dog.  It was "fresh," meaning "covered with blood" and I really did not need to see that at all!

We then waited a long time for the nurse to wheel him into his room.  We were literally in the middle of the OR corridor (or as they say here, the "operating theatre") and the surgeons were getting antsy because another emergency surgery was about to happen.

In this hospital, the 2nd floor houses both pediatrics and chemotherapy patients (which I find to be an interesting combination).  Therefore, Josh's roommate the first night was an adult cancer patient. Hooked up to chemo drugs, she was in evident pain and crying out in Swahili most of the night. There was only one chair in the room and so I tried to sleep on Josh's bed with him.  It was a surreal, out of body type of experience.  At around 3:30 in the morning, Tim left to get stuff from home and returned around 7.  I went home around 1 pm and decided to spend the night at home with the girls (which turned out to be a really good decision, because multi-night sleepovers are difficult for everyone).

Josh was in pretty bad spirits that whole day.  He was in pain, but unfortunately the pain relief in this hospital involved a morphine shot in the posterior.  He was nauseous from the anesthesia, couldn't get comfortable and wasn't interested in doing anything.  It was a long day for Tim, made longer by the fact that a stranger entered his room and tried to extort money from them...so Tim felt uncomfortable leaving Josh alone for any length of time, including getting himself food.  Thankfully we were moved to a private room which had AC (albeit frigid AC), and a little couch for us to sleep on.  We also got a final viewing of the appendix (now housed in a specimen jar).

I took the girls and Josh's iPod the next morning, both of which cheered him immensely.  He also got a visit from his buddy Carson in the afternoon.  The hospital wouldn't allow kids under age 12 (except siblings) in the room and so Josh had to walk out to visit with them.  That tired him out so much that he slept for 2 hours afterwards and also started running a fever.

Although I was very impressed with the surgeons, the nurses were pretty hit-or-miss.  Some were good, some spoke excellent English, most did not.  I was really thankful for my Swahili lessons when I had to ask for his temperature to be taken.  After about the first 12 hours, they stopped checking his vital signs, which was a bit unsettling.  This hospital had excellent technology in some respects (CT scan), but they didn't even own a digital thermometer!  Therefore, Josh had to hold the old-school variety under his armpit...then they'd forget about him so it would be in there for 10 minutes...then it would be in Celsius so I didn't know what it meant, anyway.  But thankfully he only had one fever that came down with Paracetemol (aka Tylenol).

I was also thankful for my Swahili lessons because it has helped me to understand Swahili-accented English so much better.  I often acted as an English-English translator between medical personnel and Josh!

The hospital had a little snack shop and restaurant which had pretty decent, reasonably-priced things (including the most Western-style coffee I've seen in Dar).  Unfortunately, they did not serve food on Sunday (although this information was never posted anywhere) and so I was pretty hungry.  Thankfully our friend Mark brought some things that evening.

Josh was not allowed to have any real food for the majority of his stay.  He was offered broth, gruel, and black tea with sugar.  Unfortunately, he didn't like either the gruel or the tea.  The repeated rejections of the tea (Tanzania's national drink) greatly upset all the medical personnel.  They said multiple times that drinking tea is necessary for the healing process (which I doubt is backed up by scientific evidence, but I forced Josh to take a few sips anyway).

As with hospitals in America, next steps are usually unclear.  A lot of time is spent waiting around and then, BOOM! you're discharged.

The total cost for everything was $3.3 million Tanzanian shillings, which sounds like a big number but is right around $2,000 USD.  Unfortunately, our medical policy has a $2,500 USD deductible so we're probably out of pocket for the whole thing.  But we are grateful that medical care is so inexpensive here.  I am wondering what an equivalent U.S. surgery would run - tens of thousands of dollars?  It was also amusing that we got a 3 page itemized bill, listing every single item used during our stay, including such things as "surgical blade size 10, 493.75 Tsh" and "Syringe 2 cc, 2@ 129.99 Tsh"  (the total cost for those 3 items is less than 50 cents U.S.).

Overall, I feel everything went about a smoothly as an emergency appendectomy in a Third World country can go.  So many people here supported us with childcare, meals, visits, transportation and prayers, and we really felt the outpouring of love from around the world.  Thank you, one and all, for the part you played in our African Appendectomy Adventure!

Thrive

Last week, I had the privilege of attending a Thrive conference (www.thriveministry.org) right here in Dar es Salaam.

Thrive's mission statement reads:  "Our mission is to encourage and empower Global Women to thrive and to be their advocate."  They further explain:  "There is tremendous energy and momentum to get workers on the field but a lack of intentional effort to provide spiritual, physical and emotional support once serving overseas."  

For 4 days and 3 nights, myself and about 50 missionary women from all over East Africa were pampered with an air-conditioned hotel, pedicures, haircuts, and special treats from the U.S.  There was also an amazing speaker, fabulous worship time, and lots of time to reconnect with God.  It was incredible to meet people for the first time, but already "know" them through many of our shared experiences in living in Africa (the culture shock, the language barriers, the problems with electricity/water/police stops/roads/health issues).

The theme song of this ministry, which we sang several times over the length of the conference, was by Casting Crowns.  The lyrics go:  "It's time for us to more than just survive.  We were made to thrive."

Despite this amazing conference, I realized that a lot of the time, I'm not thriving.  I'm just surviving.

This has been a really hard week for me.  We've had significant power outages every day this week, our refrigerator is still not working fully (even when the electricity is operational), Josh injured himself twice (once requiring a visit to a clinic for X-rays).  It's getting hot.  Really hot.  The A/C in our car doesn't work.  We had a flat tire.  Despite my best efforts, it feels like we've got 10,000 mosquitoes in our house.  I'm sick and tired of "African time."  We have had no city water for over 2 days now (thankfully we have a large backup tank).

There's the usual stress of trying to learn Swahili, do my part-time job and parent 3 kids in sports with late games and the need for homework help every night.  And then there is the added stress of hosting a Halloween party for 40+ people and preparing costumes for next week's Pamoja week (like Spirit Week) - both of which are challenging in the U.S., but here require Herculean efforts.  Everything - even making a "simple" meal - takes time, patience and an extraordinary amount of energy.  Some days it is just too much.

Can I thrive here?  Can I do more than just survive?

It certainly seems like many people here are thriving. I'm definitely thriving more than last year, as there's certainly a learning curve to living here.  But there were people at the conference who have faced so many more obstacles than I on the mission field (armed home robberies, significant bouts with malaria/dengue, carjackings) and yet are staying, happily.  They are thriving.  It's very humbling to hear their stories.  In many ways, I felt like a fraud at this conference...I'm still a "short-termer" and I don't live in a village.  I've been blessed with good health, good financial support, an amazing house, a great school for my kids, a community of English-speaking Christians, and good security.  And despite all this, it's still really hard for me to thrive here.

To thrive certainly doesn't mean a lack of hardships, but rather how one responds to them.  I think it's expressed in the other lyrics of the song Thrive:  "Joy unspeakable.  Faith unsinkable.  Love unstoppable, Anything is possible!" Anything...even my thriving in Africa.

Musings on Ebola

This morning, I sit here in Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, where there are no cases of Ebola within about 3,000 miles of us (unlike the U.S., which has several active cases).  I am very thankful that we are safe and disease-free here.  However, it is frightening to follow from afar the spread of Ebola and apparent improper handling of cases even in the U.S. - a country which has state-of-the art medical care, technology, communication abilities and an educated population.

Because Tanzania has almost none of those abilities, it would definitely be pushed to its limits were Ebola to emerge here.  First of all, I don't have a high level of confidence in the medical system here. Even in a Western-style clinic, a Dar friend of mine was recently diagnosed with anemia when it turned out that she had an infection in her colon.  There isn't a lot of health education here, and the city relies almost exclusively on crowded public transportation.  Things could very quickly spiral out of control in this urban setting.  This is definitely a worrying thought which has been starting to preoccupy the missionary community here:  What would we do if Ebola spread into East Africa? Into Tanzania? Into Dar?  If/when would our school close?  Would a quarantine be imposed?  Would we even be able to leave the country if we wanted to?

When reading about Ebola I'm tempted to give into the opposite poles of fear (what if? what if? what if?) or denial/indifference (if I don't think about it, it's not going to happen). What I should be doing is spending time on my knees in prayer.  Because even though Ebola isn't here in East Africa, it is absolutely devastating West Africa.

It's very sobering to read what my friends Steve & Dyan Larmey, heads of Young Life Africa, wrote just yesterday about the spread of Ebola among their colleagues and friends.  It puts a very human face upon this largely abstract tragedy:

Friends,

Our Young Life friends in Sierra Leone and Liberia are closing in on four months now of life/death with Ebola. They keep praying, going and hoping, but visibly they see a battle being lost. The numbers of infections and deaths are increasing--the World Health Organization says that in 2 months there will be 10,000 new infections each day if some significant intervention does not happen. The death rate has risen from a low of 52% to over 70% now.

The Liberian government has run out of money to pay health workers who are threatening to strike if their $500/month danger pay is not increased to $700/month. President Johnson of Liberia literally begged the workers’ union to continue working, explaining to them the government has no money. In what has been called by some a surrender, the government of Sierra Leone is now just giving families rubber gloves and some hydration salts and medicine and is telling people to treat Ebola victims at home because they lack space at Ebola treatment centers.

Here are some updates from our Young Life family in Liberia and Sierra Leone:

Our teacher staff in Freetown, Sahr Kamasie, lost his wife Victoria two nights ago. She was 29 years old, fell sick and died a few days later. She has left behind a 2-year-old son John and a 3-month-old baby Matilda with Sahr. Sahr has been waiting alone in his house with her body waiting for Ebola test results on her body to come back. The babies are at their grandmother’s house where they sent them as soon as Victoria was sick. Please pray for Sahr and the Sierra Leone team. The results will come back Thursday. If it was not Ebola (thousands of people are dying of many things other than Ebola every day because the healthcare system can only handle Ebola cases) they will bury her body with just a few friends. If it is a positive test, Sahr and the children will be under quarantine.

Andrew Quimeh, one of our top volunteer leaders in Kakata, Liberia died of Ebola yesterday. He was on the Leadership Tree of our Area Director Yancy Dixon. A Campaigner kid from the same area – Greature Worr – was released Ebola-free from a treatment center after weeks of treatment, but she lost her father and her sister. Pray for Andrew's family, for Greature and for Yancy and his team.

Jeraline Johnson has two weeks left of her second 21-day quarantine. She is the only one left in the house as both her sister and brother-in-law have died of Ebola and her niece – 2 year-old Blessings – and Blessings’ Aunt were both diagnosed with Ebola and taken to a treatment center 8 days ago. I asked her what she does all day as she sits alone: "I pray and I read my Bible. Psalm 91 I pray constantly. I sing and I praise and thank God."  Then she broke down in tears and sobbed with me on the phone for about 5 minutes and said, "Steve I am so so scared." There was good news today as Blessings' aunt was released after 8 days of treatment from the Ebola center. At the end of the call she composed herself and said, "My hope is in Jesus alone. And He is faithful." We prayed Psalm 91 together.

Our Area Director from Robertsport and DGL graduate, Baccus Roberts, and two other leaders from Monrovia, Abraham and Gbeme, are all currently sick. We are praying that this is not Ebola. Pray for healing for them. 

James Davis, our regional director for Liberia and Sierra Leone, texted today, "Steve, I have to admit, I feel like giving up the fight, but if I do who will help lead kids and leaders. We have no peace, freedom, etc. Our people are dying every hour.  Our hope is in Jesus, but we fear we may be the next Ebola victims. I can't bear this – Jesus we need you more."  He later texted back to the whole team of Senior African leaders who are here now in Colorado, "I promise I will NOT give up – the Band of Brothers do not give up….I know that we are not in this alone – the Lord is with us. And so are you."

Please continue to lift our friends up and let's not grow weary. Let's be strong for them as they focus not on what is seen but what is unseen.

Thank you,

Steve & Dyan

Psalm 91:5-7: "You will not fear the terror of night, nor the arrow that flies by day, nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness, nor the plague that destroys.  A thousand may fall at your side, ten thousand at your right hand, but it will not come near you."

Seasons

Fall is currently upon the United States and so as I scroll through my Facebook feed, I see lots of pictures of changing leaves, apple picking and people starting to bundle up.  In just a few short months those pictures will change to those of people frolicking in the snow and drinking hot chocolate.  In the course of a year, the temperature can fluctuate over 100 degrees Fahrenheit!  It's such a surreal thing because there are no true "seasons" here by U.S. standards.

There are some variations in temperature between the cooler season in June/July/August and the hot season in December/January/February.  But these temperatures don't really fluctuate all that much. Throughout the year, I go from sleeping under a sheet without a fan to sleeping on top of my sheet with my fan directly blasting on me on the top setting (or on the rare, extremely miserable night - actually running the A/C...assuming there is power, of course).  Right now things are starting to heat up quite a bit during the days but the nights have still been pretty comfortable and so I'm still only at fan setting #1.  I'd like to feel that I've acclimatized to Tanzanian heat, but I think it's honestly been a bit cooler this school year so far.  Knowing the magnitude of the heat that lies ahead is both good (I made it through once before!) and bad (It's not fun to have sweat rolling down your back for weeks on end!)

There are also some variations in precipitation.  During the true dry season, there is really no chance of rain for weeks and weeks.  That itself is kind of surreal to me, coming from a climate where it rains every few days (or if it doesn't - it's newsworthy!)  Even though everything is outside, no one makes a rain plan here.  Part of this is because for most of the year, it really won't rain, or if it does - it will be fast and furious and over pretty quickly.  Part of it is just a different attitude toward the rain. If it rains, you run under a tree (there aren't many thunderstorms here)...or you get wet.  It's not ever cold and you'll dry!

While home this summer we were really struck by the differences in the role that weather plays in daily life between here and there.  Here, I'll go many days without checking the forecast and I'm not really sure what the weather will bring.  There, most people were checking weather apps multiple times per day to see the Doppler radar and verify the percentage chance of precipitation on an hour-by-hour basis.  We were startled by the heart-stopping weather alert functions on phones to alert everyone to the possibility of flash flood or heat advisories.

It was also noteworthy that in the climate-controlled environment of the West, it's possible that you may not even notice the rain outside!  Here, with the tin roofs and downpours, it is always readily apparent.

I feel that these differences are due to both conditions and culture.  In Tanzania, there isn't a need for up-to-the-minute weather tracking because there's not all that much variation from day to day.  Will it be hot or beastly hot today?   Will the humidity be high or oppressively so?  Although there are a few sudden storms, it's not like the U.S. where dangerous squalls can pop up out of nowhere.

I think it's also due to culture.  Like I mentioned earlier, the weather just really isn't an issue in Tanzania.  It doesn't usually change people's plans and it's typically not even commented on (except by us Westerners).  I wonder if the U.S. obsession with the weather is due in part because it's one of the very few things in Western life which is unable to be controlled.  By predicting and tracking, we can try to keep it contained, but the reality is that we still don't have the technology to provide the kind of accuracy that people are looking for.  I can't tell you the number of times that the forecast called for a "0%" chance of rain, only to have showers pop up.

By contrast, here in Tanzania, where not much in life is able to be controlled, the weather is just one more item that whatever happens, will happen.  As with most everything in cross-cultural comparisons - neither of these attitudes are right or wrong....they are just different.

Meet Baby Girl Naifat!

We were so thrilled that our house helper, Rehema (Ray), had a healthy baby girl born on September 7.  I got the chance to visit mom, dad Ari and baby Naifat at their home in Msasani today.

I was so happy to see Ray...the proud mama!

So sweet!  Everything is perfect and incredibly tiny.  It's a cliche, but a true one...you really do forget how little they are...

Our friends Jamie and Lyndi are midwives that worked with Ray during her pregnancy, and I'm so glad they also came along on the visit, along with my friend and language-learning partner Heidi! I'm sure the arrival of 4 wazungu women made quite a stir in Ray's neighborhood today.

I'm incredibly thankful that the delivery went smoothly and little Naifat is growing and thriving.  In this culture, a childless woman goes by "Dada," but once you have a child, you are known as "Mama" and then your oldest child's first name.    I think of how painful this last year and a half must have been for Ray after losing her first child shortly after delivery.  She was a Mama, yet she had no child to embrace and so she continued to be called Dada.

I'm happy that I'll now have to switch from calling her Dada Ray to Mama Naifat!

The Dark Side of Beauty

Recently, my wife posted some beautiful photos of our amazing walk from our house to school. I've been meaning to write a similar post, myself, but in a slightly more sinister way.

As school started this year, I saw some posts about truly outrageous journeys that some students have to take each day to get an education. Even right here in Dar, we know of a school that lies beyond a huge hole in the road, where children literally have to climb down and then back up onto the road-twice a day. (and some of our students at HOPAC are raising money to help fix this!)

Our journey is not one of those stories. But, it does have some amusing dangers that we face each day, and that sometimes get the better of us.

Today for example Charlotte's foot somehow came across a spare piece of barbed wire laying right on the path. Every day, our "short cut" takes us under this piece of barbed wire near our backyard. (We also have to step over another piece at the same time.)

Ah, sometimes there are some trees on the path to give us shade...

Except they are not nice at all. We are talking hidden spikes 1-2 inches long. I seriously wonder what was eating these trees which lead to them figuring out how to defend themselves! I've got a few shirts and hats that have met these devils the hard way.

Then, we get to "the hill" part of living on the hill. We don't often go this way, partly because it's just too steep! I tried to take a bunch of photos of this, and it's hard to convey. Let's just say that loose, dry rocky soil, and a high grade incline don't go well together, and we've had a few bruises to prove it.

A shortcut off the hill is to cut through our neighbor's front lawn, and they are kind enough to offer it to us. But then the kids insist on walking along the wall. I used to love heights, but then I had kids, and now I hate them! I have visions of books in backpacks spontaneously shifting, throwing the kid off balance and down the 15-foot-or-so drop. To make it even better, our neighbors have a trampoline just a few feet away from this.

And once we make it past the wicked wire, tricky tree, steep slope, and delirious drop, we come out to a nice meadow that winds down to the side entrance of HOPAC. It's quite pretty. Only, it is home to even MORE bushes with thorns. Seriously, these are just a few. I do not understand African shrubbery and it's penchant for death.

 

Come on, that's just insane!

Approval

Recently I had a huge wake-up call regarding my unhealthy need for others' acceptance and approval.  I have always struggled with wanting to be liked and would readily admit to being a "people-pleaser."  This has certainly ramped up a notch after moving across the world.  Not only do I struggle valiantly to be liked here, but I also struggle to keep others' favor from back home through my blog posts, emails, whatsapp messages and Facebook statuses.

Seeking my worth in the number of social invitations I receive, or by tallying how many people "like" a post is setting myself up for frequent and devastating letdowns.  By doing this, I'm finding myself in the uncomfortable company of the Pharisees, who loved praise from men more than praise from God (John 12:43).  And Jesus asks the devastating question:  "How can you believe if you accept praise from one another, yet make no effort to obtain the praise that comes only from God?"  (John 5:45).

The Bible is pretty clear that our purpose in life does not revolve around how many friends we have - either in real life or virtually.  We are called to show love, kindness and compassion to everyone we meet, without expectation of being loved in return.

Matthew 5:46-47 makes this truth abundantly plain:  "If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?  Are not even the tax collectors doing that?  And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others?  Do not even pagans do that?"

If our stated purpose is to become more Christlike, we need to take a hard look at the life of Jesus.   Early in his ministry, even his own family denied Him and labeled Him as being "out of his mind!" (Mark 3:21). As He prepared to die, even Jesus' closest companions fell away.  And John 15:18 says, "If the world hates you, keep in mind that it hated me first."

I find it so comforting that our Savior knows first-hand our own pains of rejection and betrayal. He understands our very human need for acceptance and connection and also that this desire can only be filled by Him and not through the world.

So today I'm resting in these lyrics found in the beloved hymn, based on John 15:14, "What a Friend We Have in Jesus:"

Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?  Take it to the Lord in prayer!

In His arms He'll take and shield thee.  Thou wilt find a solace there.

The walk to school

Some days, I'm burdened by my own thoughts, or it's hot or raining and I don't appreciate my surroundings.  But most days I walk to school and I have to pinch myself to remember that, yes, I am the luckiest person ever:  that is the Indian Ocean there, and palm trees, and flowers regardless of the season.  It has to be the most gorgeous commute ever and so I thought I'd share some snapshots with all of you.

We first start up a hill that is surprisingly steep!

Then down a dirt road which is dusty in the dry season, and thick red mud in the wet season!

Sheep!  Always a surprise for this city girl.  They look and sound better than they smell...

I love this part of the walk, which provides blissful shade from the beating sun and feels like my own personal secret forest.



There is always something flowering along the many little shortcuts we take!

I will never, ever get tired of gazing upon the Indian Ocean.  It is amazing to see the many colors change throughout the day.  You can usually see barges in the distance.  In the foreground, there are always various piles of rocks, rubble, wood, etc. as there is usually a project going on "the Hill."

Names

One of the best parts of living in Tanzania is serving as part of Kids' Club and interacting with the kids that live in the quarry behind HOPAC. And one of the most powerful and touching parts of my week is in watching Shaun – the visionary for Kids' Club – walk around and greet each of the 130 kids by name. The kids just light up as “Shauni” welcomes them by name.

I believe that learning and using each person's name is incredibly important and valuable. It sends the message to the person: “I care enough to remember who you are.” Conversely, if I am introduced to the same person over and over again, it says to me: “I haven't invested the time to remember you.” One of the worst examples of this we witnessed was after Tim had worked at a place for a number of months. We saw his boss in a different setting and he introduced himself without a glimmer of recognition!

For that reason, I'm trying really hard to learn the names of the kids in Club but it is so difficult.  Here in Tanzania, most kids – both boys and girls- keep their hair really short, so that's not a clue I can use. Hair color, skin color, and eye color do differ to an extent from child to child, but it's certainly not as drastic as blue eyes or blonde hair.  Clothing is interchangeable between the sexes and it's not uncommon to see boys wearing pink or purple. Many names sound the same: Asha, Aisha, Alidi, Ayubu (and that's just the A's)!  Finally, all names are reported to me in Swahili by little kids. Even in English, it's sometimes difficult to understand the little ones that are just learning to talk....in Swahili, this is even more challenging!

Obviously, as with any skill or talent, some people are naturally better at this than others. However, the One who is the most amazing at this is God: He knows us all by name.  That's all 7 billion of us. Isaiah 29:1 says that “Before I was born, the LORD called me; from my birth he has made mention of my name” and he has actually engraved us on the palms of His hands (Isaiah 49:22). 

The Bible makes it clear on many occasions that names are important – not only ours, but God's. In fact God's name is so holy that we only know it as “I AM WHO I AM” (Exodus 3:14) and the Israelites would actually eliminate the consonants when writing it down, to avoid accidental misuse of His name. Unfortunately in today's society there is much less fear of profaning God's identity.

John 10:3 gives a beautiful picture of us as sheep, following our shepherd, Jesus. “He calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.”

When we get to heaven, we will receive a “white stone with a new name written on it, known only to him who receives it.” (Revelation 2:17). Also found in the last book of the Bible, Revelation 21:27 reminds us that only those whose names are written in the Lamb's book of life will enter the kingdom of heaven.

At that time, we'll finally see the Name above all Names!

Adventures with Tanzanian vegetables

Last year, I really focused on trying to make American foods for my family at home (well, Tanzanian versions of American foods due to the necessity of substitution or revision!)  I figured that we had enough adjustment issues going on without giving up all the comforts of home.  However, this year, I'm going to try and take more advantage of Tanzanian-specific produce and dishes.

My first initiative was to cook magimbi (white yam).  I've always seen these in the market and been too shy to try them.  They look very imposing from the outside, with a thick, almost woody exterior.  Once you slice them, they are very pretty with white and purple speckles.

It was a bit of work to peel off the exterior.  Once cutting into them, I realized how incredibly starchy they are!  The knife I used was absolutely coated with a white, sap-like substance, and my hands were sticky just by handling them.

I simply prepared them like a potato - first peeling and chopping them, then boiling them.  Once they boiled, the color changed from the white/purple speckle to all purple.  Again, due to the high starch content, the cooking water was very frothy.

I found the taste like an incredibly starchy potato.  It was a bland taste, but a very different, almost creamy, dense texture.  I also felt like my mouth was drier after eating it.  Due to the high starch content, they were very filling.  I can see why these are popular among Tanzanians, because they keep you full and are very inexpensive (less than $1 a pound).

I don't know if he was just really hungry, but Josh was crazy for these!  He had about 4 helpings and raved about how delicious they were (and even chowed down some leftovers a couple of days later!) Charlotte didn't really care for them, and Tim, Emily and I were fairly neutral.  I would say that I'd still prefer a standard potato, but I certainly had no problem eating them.

Today, our gardener, Ayubu, proudly presented me with a LARGE bunch of mchicha (kind of like spinach) that, unbeknownst to me, has apparently been growing in our yard.

Per my friend Heidi's tutorial, I fried some onions, carrots, garlic, tomatoes and salt and stir fried the mchicha with them until tender.  Unfortunately, it was not a win with the kids as they complained of an "after-taste."  Tim and I didn't mind it, although I do prefer regular spinach more.  I think I'll try the rest of the mchicha raw in a salad tomorrow and see what the reaction is.

Dada Ray

Here in Dar, most Westerners employ a Tanzanian woman, called a "dada" (Swahili word for "sister") to help with the housework.  In a land without dishwashers, clothes dryers or vacuum cleaners, there is a lot more work to do each day.

This wonderful woman in our lives is called Rehema, or "Ray" for short.  She just turned 25 years old on August 28, and she is a Muslim originally from Tanga (the north part of Tanzania).  She has been working for us since last September and we are so thankful for her.  She is a hard worker, very honest and has a pretty good grasp of English.  Here she is, posing with Emily!

Ray works for us about 30 hours a week, from around 9 a.m. - 3 p.m., Monday to Friday.  Until June, we had no washing machine and so she hand-washed all our clothing, every day. Although we now have a machine, she still needs to hang out all the laundry to air dry on the clothesline.  In the rainy season, this involved even more work as she would trudge it all outside, hang it up, see it start to rain, trudge it all inside and re-hang it on the clotheslines under the roof, see the sun come out, trudge it all back outside... some days this cycle would repeat three and four times!  Sometimes even despite all her valiant efforts to take advantage of the brief periods of sun, it would still take things 3 days to dry.  She also irons all the clothes (when we have power, of course!) and puts them away in our drawers and closets.

Among the many other things she does, Ray cleans our 4 bathrooms, sweeps and mops the floors, does all the dishes, empties the trash cans and hauls it all out to the burn pile.  She washes all our shoes, windows, patio, everything!  It's hard to describe the level of dust (in the dry season) and mud (in the rainy season) that accumulates.  It really is necessary to mop every day (and despite all this cleaning, our feet are still filthy on the bottoms from walking on the tile floors).

Ray lives quite far from us and so she must ride a crowded dala dala (bus) every day and then walk up a steep hill near our house just to get to the place where she then works so hard!

For all this effort, Ray is paid the equivalent of $100 U.S. per month plus her bus fare.  It still makes me uncomfortable to be paying someone less than $1 per hour for hard, manual labor, but this is a well-paying job by Tanzanian standards and Ray has told us often how grateful she is for the work.

Imagine doing all this work even while 8+ months pregnant!  Last Friday was her last day working for us as she is beginning her 3 month maternity leave.  The baby is due on September 17 and I'm sure that Ray is excited but also very nervous.  Infant mortality rates are astoundingly high here, and Ray lost her first baby, a girl, in February 2013, when she was only 3 days old, possibly due to jaundice.  This time, Ray told me she is determined to give birth in a private hospital instead of a government hospital.  The cost for a private hospital?  About $90 U.S.  I'm thankful that through the generosity of our supporters, we have been able to pay Ray through her maternity leave and so she can afford a better-quality hospital.

In her typical, hard-working way, Dada Ray set up her maternity replacement before she left:  her cousin, Dada Sarah.  Ray took Sarah with her to work last week so that she could introduce her to us and show her the routines.  Ray is very concerned for us because Sarah only speaks Swahili!

Although we are so thrilled for her to become a mama, I already miss her terribly.  Ray is a very quiet person but her presence in the house was always so uplifting.  Over time, we learned each other's routines and preferences and had an easy familiarity with each other in the house.  It's hard to have a new person in my space, especially someone that speaks NO English and still doesn't know the way we prefer things to be done!  I'm sure we'll adjust but it will be a time of transition.

Please pray for Ray and the safe arrival of her baby!  And also please pray that my Swahili gets better, quickly, so that I can begin to get to know Dada Sarah (and help instruct her as to where my pots and pans should go!)

Tanzania, Take Two!

We've been back in Dar for just over a week now.  We're over the jet lag, have completed the first four days of school, and are getting back into a "routine" (although I use that word loosely here as things are always changing).

In many ways, we've hit the ground running.  Although I've forgotten a lot of my Swahili, it's coming back as I stumble to buy things in the market.  It has been nice to reconnect with my HOPAC and Tanzanian friends and embrace the slower pace of life and earlier bedtimes.  We know people, we've got our favorite places to buy stuff, we understand much of this culture and way of life.  It's certainly a lot easier than our first experiences in Dar a year ago.

But in other ways, it has been tough coming back.  We had a really great time in the U.S. this summer and I think we all experienced varying degrees of reluctance to leave our home country.  There are a lot of people and places that we love and miss greatly.  And I'll be honest - it is a lot easier to live there. It's more comfortable, more efficient, less chaotic, better smelling, safer and more familiar.  It's very sad to give up everyday conveniences like jumbo supermarkets, debit cards, and miles and miles of roads without potholes and police stops.

However, God has not called us to be comfortable, but to be faithful.  He has brought us back here to Tanzania for this school year and even when it's hard, we accept His will.  I don't know what this year will look like, but He does.  I commit to learning and growing and (re)embracing this crazy ride!

So karibu tena - welcome again!- to reading about our adventures in Tanzania.  We are grateful for your prayers and support and I was affirmed this summer by the number of people that said they have been reading!  Feel free to email any questions or blog topics to tanzaniasteens (at) gmail.com

Finances 2014-15

We've been spending most of our summer talking to friends, family and churches about our lives in Tanzania. There's the funny stories, the adventurous stories, sharing the cultural education we experienced, the frustrations, and hopefully the good news of the ministry we participated in. One thing we don't like to talk about too often is our finances, but it's an important piece of the puzzle too.
It's a pretty strange experience, resigning from jobs and depending on others to support you. This year, Steph will be volunteering at HOPAC more regularly. You could call it a "job," except it won't pay. Even my teaching job isn't really paid...we get a small stipend of $1300/month. That's almost exactly how much our rent is each month, so we have to raise money for every thing else!
I wanted to make it clear why we need money from you, and how that money will be used to benefit God's work in Tanzania.

WHY
As I said, the school pays its teachers a small stipend every month. Even so, it costs over $6000 a year for regular students to attend HOPAC. Imagine if the 40+ teachers and professional staff were paid even "minimum" starting salaries from America...costs would leap! Indeed, the other (non-Christian) Western-style private school in Dar Es Salaam costs over $24,000/year. HOPAC was created primarily for missionary families, so they would be able to afford a high-quality Western education while they do ministry in east Africa. MK students are actually given a big discount from that $6K/year. So when you support our family, you are actually supporting the work of Wycliffe Bible translators, pastor training programs, youth group ministries, health organizations, ministries that work with disabled people, and more! Every dollar we receive makes the lives of those missionaries better!
We also are trying to reach out in other ways to minister to the people of Tanzania. First of all, we try to form relationships with the students at HOPAC. Through sports (Tim coaches and plays with students weekly, and the kids are on sports teams), through after-school activities like board games, and through school events we try to get to know students so that we can talk to them about The Important Things of Life, especially where they are on their spiritual walk. As we spend more time in Tanzania, this will get easier and easier to do. We are also trying to invest in the lives of kids from the "Sala Sala Kids Club," a ministry run by a friend of ours. Impoverished children in the community behind the school have vast needs, both materially and spiritually. We hope that this year, we can find more and more ways to help.

HOW
Here's some information on how we use the money we receive.

• Food (about $8000): of course we do need to eat. Some foods (rice, beans, local fruits and veggies) are pretty cheap. Other foods do cost more. Steph makes the majority of our food from scratch, so granola for breakfast, rolls for lunch, and pasta sauces for dinner are all done cheaply (but take time). We probably end up spending about the same as we do in America on food. As Steph got better at shopping over the year, more of our food was purchased at local stores, putting money directly in Tanzanian hands rather than at the big food supermarkets!
• Transportation - Home ($6500): to make it home in the summer means plane tickets. We aren't sure of our plans next summer and beyond, but our initial two year commitment will be over. We should probably budget to afford to be able to return!
• Transportation - There ($5000): We hope that we don't need to buy a car this year. Our current car has been a problem for us literally since Day 1, as we broke down the first time we left the house! In the meantime, it does need some fixing (which is generally cheap!) and of course gas (which isn't.)
• Utilities (about $2500): the good news is that we've been able to find very cheap (and adequate) Internet and cell phone service. It's not great but it's OK. Very fast Internet access could cost us over $100/month easily, but we can get OK service for about $3/week! Water is included in our rent price. Electricity is the big worry...the price went up 200% last January according to reports. Overall this is the big worry for our budget...prices can change very quickly on many of our planned expenditures.
• House help (about $4000). This is a hard one to explain to Westerners. It certainly has taken us a long time to get used to it. We employ a gardener, a guard, and a house maid. The gardener comes with the house...our landlord requires that we hire him to keep the property nice. The guard is also pretty much a necessity. We live in a safe area but you don't want to be the "easy" target on the road no matter where you are. House help is culturally an important thing...Westerners who do not get house help are viewed as both cheap and arrogant! This year, though, with Steph working more hours, our house help will be more important than ever. With cooking, laundry and cleaning done "the old fashioned way," it just takes too long to do daily housework. Besides all that, we are quite proud and happy to be supporting three families by paying our workers. Our gardener is a joyous man with a beautiful family. Our guard is a kind and gentle man, willing to do much more around our yard than guard. And Ray, our maid, is expecting a child this fall. She is a quiet but sweet woman, and an important member of our family.
• All the other stuff. OK, we also have all the exciting things like taxes (which are higher for us, being "self-employed"), health care, a monthly security fee, gifts for friends and family, school uniforms and fees, as well as things like modestly adding to our 401K and saving for the kids' college tuition funds. All together, we have budgeted about $73,000 of expenses this year. (If you want a complete breakdown beyond all this, I can provide it! We try to be transparent!) After the school pays the stipend, we are at $60,000 left to raise. It's a challenge, but we also know that God provides! He provided for us last year, and we had an even larger budget, with set up costs for furniture, car, and more. We also rejoice that we can project about $30,000 of that money already pledged! Between churches supporting us and some faithful regular givers, we assume we can rely on that income. So we're 50% of the way there! 

I hope this helps anyone who is wondering "what does it take to live in Tanzania?" We always assumed we could live on like 1/3 of this amount. Maybe you can, but we haven't figured out how yet! We try to live simply but comfortably and safely. If you'd like to donate to our ministry, you can follow links on our blog to our sending mission, Christian Reformed World Missions. Thanks for reading!

Top 10 impressions from the U.S.

It's really surreal to be back in the U.S., and this feeling is aided by the jet-lag stupor that I've been in for the last few days.  Here are my top 10 observations about life so far:

1.  Drinking from the tap is really convenient - and the "cold water" from the tap is actually cold (unlike in TZ, where it's lukewarm to hot, depending on how hot the day is).
2.  The foods I've been most appreciating have been on the healthier side - strawberries, blueberries, cherries, grapes, salad and cheese.  These things are rare to non-existent or extremely expensive in TZ. Also nice - I don't need to wash my produce with dish soap first!
3.  I think we all have a little PTSD about power outages.  We were in the library and the air conditioning fans went off and the kids immediately asked, "Is the power off?!"  Not once in 3 days!  I've currently got something in the crockpot and am a bit nervous about it!
4.  Emily, in watching me make quesadillas with store-bought tortillas and cheddar cheese observed,  "The tortillas are so white!  The cheese is so orange!"  Ah yes, the land of artificial color.
5.   The kids are wearing sweatshirts in the 80+ degree weather here.  I think they have acclimatized to Tanzania!
6.  A dishwasher.  A washing machine.  Hot showers on demand.  A grocery store within walking distance that has twice as much food as I've seen in any one place for a year.  Daily life is much easier, though decision-making at the store is more difficult.
7.  Our van is running (after a battery replacement) and I've adjusted back to driving on the right, although I'm still messing up the turn signals.  I'm struck by how smooth the roads are, how nicely our 2001 vehicle drives and how roomy it is.  Most people follow the traffic rules, and there are no vehicles swerving around me on the road!
8.  I miss our TZ community.  I've gotten used to seeing people I know wherever I go, and everybody showing up for everything.  Here, life is a lot busier and more anonymous.  Seeing the pictures of all the World Cup parties in TZ gave me a twinge - here we are IN the U.S. and there wasn't a lot of celebration.  Making plans to see people requires a lot more effort and coordination of calendars.
9.  Smells are much more pleasant here.  Nobody is sweating through their shirts, everybody wears deodorant and there are so many nice-smelling fabric softeners, shampoos and body washes.  There's no standing water or burning trash.
10.  My feet are truly clean for the first time in 10 months!!  And they are staying clean!

"Home"

I'm feeling a little sad today in seeing all the Facebook posts and pictures about the ECES graduating 4th grade class and realizing that we are very, very far away.  All my son's friends and their parents are there, but we're not.  And because HOPAC graduates in 5th grade, not 4th, there's nothing "special" for Josh this year.  That makes my heart twinge because although it wasn't his choice to move away, he is facing the results of that decision.

I've often wished that we could push the "pause" button on life in the U.S. while we're here.  Then we wouldn't miss anything or anyone!

Despite missing things in NJ, at the same time, I'm realizing this week how much of a "home" Tanzania has become.  If we left today, there are so many people I would genuinely miss...and new traditions that are being formed.

Can you have two homes? Or three?  If I'm confused, how much more so are my kids?

I've been meaning to read the book about Third Culture Kids the whole year, but it's a really long book, and the concept was more abstract than concrete up until now.  (the short synopsis is that after living abroad, my kids will most likely no longer feel American....but they aren't Tanzanian either.  They are a Third Culture).

Big transitions are coming.  HOPAC is a very mobile community and there are many families that are moving on (including Josh's new best friend).  Things are going to look a lot different here in just a couple of weeks.  The next few months will be filled with lots of transition as we leave, come back again, say farewell to some families and give a welcome to others.

Even when we do return to the U.S. "for good," I know things won't pick up exactly where they left because the pause button hasn't been pushed.  Our family, and everyone we know, are different - changed by our differing circumstances.

I'm still incredibly grateful for the opportunity for my kids to live abroad, make friends from around the world and experience new cultures.  But I'm realizing today that this opportunity comes at a cost for them.