Strengths and Weaknesses

As we continue to tick down to our move, I've been reflecting more and more (with varying levels of panic), that I am really NOT suited to life in Africa.  The following is just a partial list of the reasons why:

* I'm impatient (with myself and others)
* I'm critical (of myself and others)
* I'm a perfectionist - I don't like to make mistakes and expect myself to "know" everything immediately
* I'm not the happiest in heat and humidity
* Time is important to me
* I don't like large bugs, spiders and snakes
* I'm a worrier - I like to have financial security

In my (many) moments of doubt I wonder how on earth this is going to work.  I feel like some days I can barely keep it together in North American comfort and security, where I feel a high level of competence on a daily basis.

But I am comforted by the words of Paul, found in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.  The preceding chapter details how Paul has asked over and over and to have the "thorn in his flesh" removed, without success.  It continues:  

"But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."

This sentiment was also seconded by one of the "seasoned" missionaries at our training, Luke De Haan, who said, "My weaknesses have actually become my strengths, and my strengths weaknesses.  I take my strengths for granted, but my weaknesses cause me to go to God in prayer...and He has used them even more than my strengths."

When we feel competent and "together," there's no need to rely on anyone but ourselves.  This is why we are given weaknesses:  "But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us."  (2 Corinthians 4:7).  However, the passage continues in verses 8 and 9 with the promise that "[although] we are hard pressed on every side, [we will not be] crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed."

Will Africa bring me to my knees?  Yes, literally, and also in a posture of prayer. But it's not going to crush me.

While I don't think I'll get to Paul's extreme in actually boasting about my weaknesses or delighting in hardship, I do take heart in the fact that this broken, imperfect jar of clay can still do mighty things when she relies on the power of Christ.  Even in Africa...or especially in Africa.