One thing that has surprised me about my time in Africa is how much I have struggled with contentment. In my very first month here I blogged about these feelings of dissatisfaction (you can read about them here) and although I've made some strides since then, I still struggle with feeling that I have enough. Enough missionary support, enough food in the house, enough wearable clothes, enough activities to give my life meaning and purpose, enough time and attention to give my children.
The reality is that I'll never feel like I have enough, even though I actually do (especially in comparison to most people around me).
I need to learn afresh that we are to pray for daily bread. Not weekly bread, monthly bread, or (as I'd prefer) a lifetime supply of bread.
I can't remember where I read this, but it said something to the effect of: how can you truly ask God, "Give us this day our daily bread" when you have a month of food stocked in your pantry? The Lord's Prayer is a prayer of dependence upon God, and when things are easy, we feel like we are providing for our needs in our own strength,
The beauty and the frustration about living here is that it is a lot easier to rely on God for provision as I am reminded again and again of my dependence on Him. It's harder to buy things and it's difficult to stock up. Many times the store will not have exactly what I want, or as much of it as I want, or the ATM won't have money, or the car won't work, or the gas station won't have gas, or we'll lose power and I'll be anxious about the extra chicken I have unexpectedly defrosting in the freezer.
Although my goal is always to plan ahead, it doesn't usually happen. However, over the last few weeks, I have been reminded time and time again that God is providing enough. Even when it's not as much as I want, it's enough. Here are a few examples:
I needed to make play-dough for the kids in the quarry but I was low on salt (there is an insane amount of salt in homemade play-dough!) My car was broken and although a friend went to two separate places to buy salt for me, neither one had any (!) In desperation, I just decided to make due with the amount I had and see what happened. To my great surprise, I had exactly the half cup that was needed. Enough.
In preparing for our 2014 taxes, I added up our rental income and subtracted our mortgage, taxes, unexpected repairs and other expenses. How much did we net this year? $8.80. Enough.
I went to buy Vodacom vouchers, which is how we fund our internet . Although I had hoped to stock up for a couple of weeks, they only had the amount we needed for one week. But it was enough.
Our car has been a problem since, literally, the first day we owned it. It has cost us endless repair charges, frustration and stress and has driven me to the depths of despair (pun intended). But it has only actually broken down one time on the road (and that was really close to home and was a quick solution). It has safely seen us through the last year and a half, including 4 trips that were pretty far outside of Dar, and most recently, 2 trips across town to the clinic in the pouring rain. Enough.
Raising missionary support has been more challenging this year, but every month, we're getting by. There will be an unexpected offering from a church, a new one-time donor, a drop in our expenses. Enough.
Praying this Scripture again today:
Hebrews 13:5: Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."
He is enough.
Thursday, March 26, 2015
Monday, March 16, 2015
Blooming in the Dry Season
Last year, the Tanzanians tell me that we had an atypical summer. We never went a really long time without some kind of rain, and it had already significantly cooled off by this point in the calendar. Long-term HOPACers told me, "You don't know how lucky you are to have this as your first summer here."
Although I was still sweating profusely last year, I can see that apparently they were right. This year has been incredibly hot - over 90 degrees (plus humidity) every day for over a month straight. And it has been unbelievably dry. I can't remember much rain at all since early January besides maybe a couple of two-minute sprinkles.
Everyone is looking forward to this rainy season with anticipation, knowing in the back of our minds that it is going to bring new challenges of flooding and mosquitoes.
But there is one plant that is extremely happy in this hot, dry season: the bougainvillea (I can spell it, but don't ask me to say it!) According to Wikipedia, "bougainvilleas grow best in dry soil in very bright full sun...and in fact will not flourish if over-watered."
Everything around it is lifeless, yet it blooms with amazing beauty.
I think there's a lesson in there about thriving despite challenges. Are we going to be the kind of people who are snuffed out by the tough circumstances of life, or are we going to flower in the midst of hardship? Will the hard times cause us to dig down deep to blossom or will we wither on the vine?
Personally, I feel that this hot season has caused me to wither. But I know that the difference between withering and flourishing is the ability to thrive despite our circumstances. The only way to do this is to stay connected to the Vine (John 15:5).
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)
Although I was still sweating profusely last year, I can see that apparently they were right. This year has been incredibly hot - over 90 degrees (plus humidity) every day for over a month straight. And it has been unbelievably dry. I can't remember much rain at all since early January besides maybe a couple of two-minute sprinkles.
Everyone is looking forward to this rainy season with anticipation, knowing in the back of our minds that it is going to bring new challenges of flooding and mosquitoes.
But there is one plant that is extremely happy in this hot, dry season: the bougainvillea (I can spell it, but don't ask me to say it!) According to Wikipedia, "bougainvilleas grow best in dry soil in very bright full sun...and in fact will not flourish if over-watered."
Everything around it is lifeless, yet it blooms with amazing beauty.
I think there's a lesson in there about thriving despite challenges. Are we going to be the kind of people who are snuffed out by the tough circumstances of life, or are we going to flower in the midst of hardship? Will the hard times cause us to dig down deep to blossom or will we wither on the vine?
Personally, I feel that this hot season has caused me to wither. But I know that the difference between withering and flourishing is the ability to thrive despite our circumstances. The only way to do this is to stay connected to the Vine (John 15:5).
"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all." (2 Corinthians 4:16-17)
Wednesday, March 11, 2015
Ants!
I've always had an appreciation for ants. They are super hard-working, great team players, and they really know how to get the job done. They make impressive structures in just a short amount of time and really have a lot to show for their days.
The book of Proverbs even has two favorable mentions of ants, including one of my favorite sayings: "Go to the ant, you sluggard!" (Proverbs 6:6). In the Aesop's Fable about the ant and the grasshopper, we are all encouraged to be more like the ant who plans ahead for the winter and isn't afraid to work hard.
Nonetheless, these days, I am feeling less favorably disposed to this industrious insect. We are under a veritable explosion of ants, both inside and outside our house. Thankfully, the ants in question are tiny but they are everywhere and there are so many of them!
Every morning, I fill the dog's food and water bowls outside and there are literally thousands surrounding the bowls. I then return to the breakfast table inside and there are thousands more swarming the toast crumbs and jam splotches that have been there all of 10 minutes. Last night, Charlotte dropped a forkful of rice under her chair and it looked like a small party of mountain-climbing ants.
The ants make huge ant highways to transport crumbs - across the table, down the floor, up the wall. I really wish I could get a better picture or a video of this, because despite the fact that I'm repulsed by them, I'm still impressed.
Unlike the U.S. ants I've experienced, I feel that these ants seem to prefer carbs rather than sticky stuff. They always come out for bread products, including a memorable day when they were transporting a cube of stuffing up the wall.
This is our weapon against the battle of the ants: DOOM (best name for an insect killer ever!) Disclaimer: it's not "odourlous." It has a sickly sweet, cloying smell....but it does spell instantaneous DOOM for the hapless ants.
My friend Gretchen said a couple of months ago "You know, back in the U.S., when you think there's a bug on you and it's usually just a fuzz or a hair? Here it's always a bug!" Usually it's an ant.
I did make the happy discovery that putting a few cloves of garlic in the sugar does get rid of ants. There were hundreds of ants in my sugar (despite it being in an "air-tight" Tupperware container from the U.S.) While I don't necessarily care about picking out the ants before baking, it was a huge gross-out factor for my kids when they went to make Kool-Aid. Instead of throwing out the whole 2 kilos of sugar, I decided to try the helpful hint that was included in my HOPAC cookbook. I was definitely skeptical. At first, it looked like the ants were just going on another mountain-climbing expedition - this time on the garlic cloves. But then, miraculously, they vanished...and they haven't returned! I was also worried that the garlic may permeate the taste of the sugar, but I haven't noticed anything.
Although I'd much rather battle the ants than cockroaches, centipedes or mosquitoes (all have also been in our house) or certainly a tarantula (has been at school), I'd like them to leave now, please. Maybe when the rains come all my problems will go away....is it too much to ask that dust, heat, and ants all leave together? We will see.
The book of Proverbs even has two favorable mentions of ants, including one of my favorite sayings: "Go to the ant, you sluggard!" (Proverbs 6:6). In the Aesop's Fable about the ant and the grasshopper, we are all encouraged to be more like the ant who plans ahead for the winter and isn't afraid to work hard.
Nonetheless, these days, I am feeling less favorably disposed to this industrious insect. We are under a veritable explosion of ants, both inside and outside our house. Thankfully, the ants in question are tiny but they are everywhere and there are so many of them!
Every morning, I fill the dog's food and water bowls outside and there are literally thousands surrounding the bowls. I then return to the breakfast table inside and there are thousands more swarming the toast crumbs and jam splotches that have been there all of 10 minutes. Last night, Charlotte dropped a forkful of rice under her chair and it looked like a small party of mountain-climbing ants.
The ants make huge ant highways to transport crumbs - across the table, down the floor, up the wall. I really wish I could get a better picture or a video of this, because despite the fact that I'm repulsed by them, I'm still impressed.
Unlike the U.S. ants I've experienced, I feel that these ants seem to prefer carbs rather than sticky stuff. They always come out for bread products, including a memorable day when they were transporting a cube of stuffing up the wall.
This is our weapon against the battle of the ants: DOOM (best name for an insect killer ever!) Disclaimer: it's not "odourlous." It has a sickly sweet, cloying smell....but it does spell instantaneous DOOM for the hapless ants.
My friend Gretchen said a couple of months ago "You know, back in the U.S., when you think there's a bug on you and it's usually just a fuzz or a hair? Here it's always a bug!" Usually it's an ant.
I did make the happy discovery that putting a few cloves of garlic in the sugar does get rid of ants. There were hundreds of ants in my sugar (despite it being in an "air-tight" Tupperware container from the U.S.) While I don't necessarily care about picking out the ants before baking, it was a huge gross-out factor for my kids when they went to make Kool-Aid. Instead of throwing out the whole 2 kilos of sugar, I decided to try the helpful hint that was included in my HOPAC cookbook. I was definitely skeptical. At first, it looked like the ants were just going on another mountain-climbing expedition - this time on the garlic cloves. But then, miraculously, they vanished...and they haven't returned! I was also worried that the garlic may permeate the taste of the sugar, but I haven't noticed anything.
Although I'd much rather battle the ants than cockroaches, centipedes or mosquitoes (all have also been in our house) or certainly a tarantula (has been at school), I'd like them to leave now, please. Maybe when the rains come all my problems will go away....is it too much to ask that dust, heat, and ants all leave together? We will see.
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