Six months

Six months ago today, we were frantically finishing the packing and weighing of our 10 suitcases, shoving all other worldly possessions in the attic, cleaning the house to get it ready for our new renters, and, in an act of questionable judgment, going to see “Planes” at the Hawthorne Theatre as a reward for the kids' great behavior in a time of chaos. We had a “last supper” of Chinese takeout with our friends – although no one had much of an appetite – and then headed for JFK Airport to start the 2-day journey to our new life in Dar es Salaam.

Although I can remember that day with perfect clarity like it was yesterday, it also feels like a lifetime ago. It seems like that day happened to a different person – and in many ways, I was a different person. I can't believe all the new experiences I've had and the steep learning curve I've managed.  There have been big highs and bigger lows, moments of feeling “home” and moments of questioning the decision to come. As with so much in life, we truly had no idea what we were getting into.

1. Nothing is easy. From getting food on the table, to keeping ourselves in utilities, everything requires a greater effort physically and mentally than we're used to. Things don't work, roads close, stores don't carry things or aren't open. It involves keeping a lot of cash on hand (no credit! ATMs don't always work!), doing mental calculations of US/Tanzanian currency and making constant conversions between Fahrenheit/Celsius, grams/ounces, liters/ounces. Every errand involves some degree of awkwardness and attempts to communicate. In an attempt to enter into the very relational Tanzanian culture, there is no true ability to conduct an anonymous transaction. It's exhausting.
2. I'm addicted to variety in my eating. For the most part, Tanzanians have a pretty basic diet of rice and beans and there are very few snacks.  This is a constant struggle for me – I can't “strive for 5” different fruits/veggies per day or have 10 different snack items in my pantry depending on what mood I'm in.  I don't have the ability to store lots of food, I simply can't make elaborate meals and I struggle to keep the kids' lunches packed every day.  I hope at some point I'll adapt a more "eat to live" mindset, but at the moment I just feel deprived and frustrated. 
3. I had to learn how to cook. Although I prided myself on my cooking and baking in the U.S., I heavily relied upon canned beans, canned tomatoes, and jarred pasta sauce. Here, convenience foods are crazy expensive or not available and so I've learned to truly cook from scratch. Besides making homemade pasta sauce (instead of paying $9 per jar) and cooking dry beans, I've also learned how to make homemade granola (instead of $13 per bag) and poultry seasoning. Up this weekend: attempting to make my own cream cheese for a Valentine's Day cheesecake.
4. I've got a lot of emotional baggage. There is a great article on living overseas that you can read here.  The first section of the article, which explains that all your quirks and insecurities are magnified by living cross-culturally, was really eye-opening.  I've found it much more challenging to be a parent and a wife here.  When I'm feeling anxious, it's hard to turn off that internal monologue of negative thoughts and defeatist attitudes in order to serve my family. It sometimes feels impossible to model the kind of behavior I want my kids to have or to summon the vast reservoir of patience that is necessary here.  
5. Learning Swahili is the key for me to succeed here. Nothing makes me happier than when I actually understand someone and they understand me.   But it's a long, slow, frustrating process. With maybe 125 hours of language instruction under my belt, I still can't understand more than 5 words my gardener says.  It's yet another opportunity to learn patience and to relinquish control.  As they say here, "Pole, pole!" (slowly!)    

At the 6-month mark, the words of a familiar hymn are running through my head: 

“We've come this far by faith, leaning on the Lord. Trusting in His holy word, he's never failed us yet. Oh! We can't turn back, we've come this far by faith."  AMEN.