The Unexpected

Upon completion of 2 weeks here, I have now lived in Tanzania as long as I had visited Uganda for the mission trips which were the entirety of my logical, thought-out "I have experience living in Africa!" basis of uprooting my family and moving them across the world.

The thing is, is turns out that LIVING in a third-world country away from everything you've ever known and VISITING it are pretty different. Some of you may have known this already, but this is the level of drawn conclusions I've been able to come to so far.

The thing is: yesterday I posted a nice Facebook status of my first day of school, and it got over 100 likes and it did accurately reflect the great first day of teaching I enjoyed here at HOPAC. But it doesn't tell a very complete picture. Posting photos of our new environment, Facebook status updates and "slice of life" updates just aren't adequate for really diving into what it's like to live here. Well, even longer Skype calls, emails, and this post don't really do it justice either. Well, I haven't even figured out WHAT I feel so far (much less figured out what the kids feel).

I sure wish I could say "It's been the hardest thing I've ever done but the rewards are all worth it," but I haven't figured out what the rewards are yet. It is certainly novel and refreshing, walking around a campus with palm trees and a tropical breeze, looking over the Indian ocean. (But worth leaving for?) It is a joy to meet the students here at HOPAC and learn about their lives and their interests (but I could also be about to start classes at EC, and looking forward to my advanced programming students, yearbook staff, and new students to meet).  Church here has been uplifting and refreshing (but not Ridgewood), and making new friends has been welcoming and encouraging (while also making us miss others).

The truth is, after 2 weeks, I (and I think the rest of the family) are only saying, "Can we just pack up and go home pleaserightnow?" about once per day. A big improvement over last week. Our good days are days we end by feeling overwhelmed instead of over-the-top-whelmed. There is a big chart about culture shock that shows that the average person has about a three-month Honeymoon Period in a new culture and then they dip into severe depression-like culture shock and our response is, "Wait, there's a honeymoon period?" And very well-meaning and welcoming (really, they are, I don't mean to be sarcastic) longtimers here say helpful things like, "This is winter, just wait until February and you'll really be miserable!" and, "It's easy now that there is this new shopping centre and that new store down the street!"

My original plan starting to write this post was just to highlight some unexpected, unplanned, and yes much harder parts of our lives here. Not to overly complain, but to try to be honest both with myself and with others.

• When you're on a mission trip, others are driving you around...you never really need to know where you are going! When you have your own vehicle, you have to think really hard about where in the world you want to end up, and how worth it the attempt would be.
• When you're on a mission trip, all your supplies are given to you. You don't need to puzzle out which unlabeled store front you might find a zip tie, Nintendo DS charger, or bookcase.
• When you're on a mission trip, you can communicate with local people to "try it out" and exchange greetings. Fun! When you live here, you need to figure out how to get money on your phone and you know you are being a jerk insisting on English and even then not understanding it. Or feeling like you've probably committed five-six cultural insults since walking in, but bowing and walking slowly out and trying again tomorrow would probably be the ninth-tenth.
• When you're on a mission trip, your schedule is built for you. You're told to wake up and start devotions, when to work hard, and when to take some time to relax and recharge. In life, it's never that easy to find the right quiet time when your brain is on overcharge, or how to relax at a beach when you are probably forgetting that your water bill may be due but you have no idea how to find it or pay it.

The truth is, God has been faithful and has continued blessing us in so many things. He is protecting us and upholding us. We've been singing a lot about "the God of angel armies always by our side" and "Whom shall I fear?" And even in our most confused and most scared, we believe all that at a deep level, even if circumstances swell to temporarily overwhelm us. So I hope this doesn't come off as overly negative!