Running the Race

Back in February, I decided to run the HOPAC 5K race on June 6.  I sat down and marked out a good 12-week training plan, because I ran this race last year and I wanted to improve my time.  Although I had been running fairly consistently, I felt confident that if I followed the plan, I'd get even faster and stronger.

I eagerly followed my plan for a few weeks, and then life intervened.  I hurt my back.  Then I got sick.  Then it rained.  Then I got sick again.  Then it rained again.  I ended up running only 2 days in the month of May.  It wasn't easy even on the days in which I could run.  Along the way, I sweated profusely.  Bugs flew into my eyes, nose and mouth while running.  I slipped on mud.  I slipped on gravel.  I fell and bloodied my knee.  I was laughed at by Maasai.  One time, I had to run past a sketchy-looking guy who was doing some very personal business to the side of the road.

Running the actual race was equally ugly.  Several times I felt like throwing up.  I had to walk up most of the hill during the second lap.  I needed to lie down most of yesterday afternoon after the race because I had a pounding headache and felt exhausted.  I felt disappointed with myself because I hadn't followed the plan and my time was significantly worse than last year. (side note in that my husband and children are amazing athletes which is even more humbling).

Then I started thinking about how I hardly ever follow "the plan."  Although it seems like others can flawlessly execute impressive lists of life goals, there are always obstacles in my path.  My race course change started with the fact that although I was the top student in my class, I failed to get into any of my top college choices.  I experienced another major plan detour when my dad died of cancer when I was 25 and I moved without a job to be with him in his final weeks.  I never planned on being anything other than a full-time working mother but I haven't done that since Charlotte was born. Moving to Africa was never part of "the plan," either.

The good news is that the Race Maker plans the perfect course for all of us.  I can't imagine living a life without a Calvin education, my NJ community, extra time with my kids or our time in Tanzania. Although we may not feel it at the time, it's the bumps and bruises that we suffer along the way that make us more like Jesus.  Death to self also means death to our plan.

In looking at running the race from a Biblical perspective, Hebrews 12:1 says that we are to "run with perseverance the race marked out for us."   I'll confess that the race I want to run is one on a level, paved course, at a perfect 68 degrees with low humidity and gentle breezes.  It ends with me triumphantly crossing the finish line to victory, blowing kisses to my legions of adoring fans, setting a personal record without breaking a sweat.

But we do not determine the race that is marked out for us.  We are called only to be faithful to the course set by the Race Maker and to do so with perseverance:  of not giving up, no matter what.   I love how The Message translates Hebrews 12:1:  "Strip down, start running—and never quit! No extra spiritual fat, no parasitic sins. Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how he did it. Because he never lost sight of where he was headed—that exhilarating finish in and with God—he could put up with anything along the way: Cross, shame, whatever..."

The race I thought I'd be running in Dar es Salaam involved forming deep relationships with Tanzanians, becoming proficient in Swahili and leading people to Jesus.  It included doing great acts of service to bring about meaningful change, lifting people out of poverty.

It did not include becoming beat down by the heat, power outages, and sickness.  It did not include moments of aching loneliness, of cross-cultural awkwardness, of fractured family relationships, of tension and strain, of many, many times of wanting to quit.  Many times, unlike Jesus, I lost sight of where I was headed.

My race has not always been easy or fun, but as I leave Tanzania, may I say along with Paul that "I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith." (2 Timothy 4:7).