Duka Adventures

Last week, I decided to get some vegetables at the local duka (roadside stand).  My list included:  tomatoes, carrots, onions, peppers and bananas.

I usually visit a more Western-style store, called Mbezi Fresh, for my produce even though shopping at the duka is quite a bit cheaper.  This, my favorite grocery store in Dar, was new at the end of the last school year.  It appeals to me because it has a wide variety of choices, contains produce and dry goods in one spot (almost unheard-of here), requires less need for Swahili and, because the store is completely inside and in a more climate-controlled environment, I do find the quality better and that the veggies last longer in the fridge (longer=days instead of hours).

It is funny to me how much I love Mbezi Fresh because it's still a Tanzanian store with assorted challenges.  By U.S. standards, it is tiny (NJ friends, it's probably half the size of Food Basics, if even).  The power frequently goes out, which means that the clerks sometimes end up writing receipts by hand (which takes forever).  Certain items stop selling at random, then re-appear.  I have tried to train my children not to become dependent on a specific brand of anything!  A lot of the time, they don't have proper change.  The baggers are never sure what to do with the fact that I bring my own cloth bags. Nonetheless, I love Mbezi Fresh.

But Mbezi isn't super close to our house and requires a certain level of fearlessness in its small and chaotic parking lot (particularly in the rain), so I decided to stay local on that day.  From past experience, I knew that it was unlikely that one spot would have everything on my list, but I also knew that there were 3 vegetable stands on my chosen path.

Duka #1:  Hamna shida (no problems) on the tomatoes, and it was a good price.  I'm never sure exactly what the cost per pound or kilogram is at the duka, because they sell them in a "sado" (which is a small, white plastic bucket that used to contain Sadolin paint...I'm choosing not to dwell on this possibility of lead poisoning for too long).  I would estimate that it's around 5 pounds or so, for about $4 U.S.  Depending on your shopkeeper and how friendly they are, they generally make the Sado overflowing (and they are usually pretty scrupulous about sorting through and giving you only good tomatoes).  All tomatoes here are "Roma" and one of the best parts about living here are their year-round availability.

I was happy with my tomato purchase - first try! - but unfortunately, there were no carrots, onions, peppers or bananas at this duka.

Duka #2:  The pepper and carrot situation was bleak at this location, and although I would have liked to purchase more, I only managed to get 2 carrots and 4 peppers.  Unfortunately, the price for the carrots was significantly higher than usual.  Generally it is around 250-300 shillings per carrot. That day, it was 500 shillings...and these carrots were not particularly large.  I tried to negotiate in Swahili, expressing outrage over the price and asking why it was so high.  His matter-of-fact response:  Bei panda.  Prices climbed.

To keep things in perspective, a 500 shilling carrot is only around 25 cents at the current exchange rate, and the difference between 250 and 500 shillings is less than 15 cents.  We're not talking break-the-bank levels.  However, the issue is not the price itself, but I absolutely hate feeling like I'm being taken advantage of.  Have prices, in fact, climbed, or does he see a white person and assume that I can pay?  That's another point in Mbezi Fresh's favor:  the price is the price, foreigners or Tanzanians.

Although I probably should have just walked away, I am still set in my Western ways where efficiency is king,  I needed the carrots and he knew it.  I sucked it up and paid the 1000 shillings.  I will add that the carrots here are really good and fresh.  I do miss pre-peeled, pre-cut "baby" carrots because it's a lot more work to peel and chop your own, but they are light years tastier here.

The other reason I decided to buy them is because I've learned an important lesson here:  if you see it and you need it, BUY IT.  It's never going to get cheaper or easier than right then and I have never regretted this philosophy, despite being a less-decisive shopper in the West.

Unfortunately, Duka #2 didn't have bananas or onions.

Duka #3:  had apparently not received a lot of inventory since my last trek to this area.  There were a couple of extremely over-ripe bananas hanging on a string and some rotting tomatoes.  Even from the street, I could tell this was not going to happen, and I didn't even stop.

Final result:  60% of the items on my list and feeling ripped off.  Back to Mbezi Fresh!!

Terror

From Dictionary.com: "Terror (noun): 1) intense, sharp, overmastering fear: to be frantic with terror....2) an instance or cause of intense fear or anxiety; quality of causing terror...4) violence or threats of violence used for intimidation or coercion;terrorism.”

In the wake of Al-Shabaabs's attack last week on Garissa University in Kenya, there has been a WhatsApp message circulating around Dar that reads:

"This is a very serious warning from UNDP Dar!  Beware on Friday [April 10] suspected Somalian terrorist attacks in Dar, Mwanza, Arusha and Mbeya.  Try to avoid public gathering places on that day, especially hotels.  UN Security warning.  Please take extra care and avoid public gathering places.  Forward this message to all your friends."

HOPAC has been checking directly with the United Nations, the U.S. embassy, the British High Commission and other sources and all research shows that this is a completely false report. Nonetheless, despite being totally unverified, this message spread like wildfire throughout the community this week and many students said they would not be attending school today.

From a logical, rational perspective, I know that these rumors are just rumors.  Anyone can anonymously post up a wild and crazy theory and I can't imagine that Al-Shabaab would gain anything by starting a conflict with another country (or in the case of an attack on an international school, many countries).

But terror does not operate in a climate of logical or rational behavior and our kids in particular have been very affected by this.  They begged to stay home from school this morning and Tim and I have spent most of the last 2 evenings at home trying to calm their fears.  It's times like these that I realize that I have no idea what I'm doing as a parent.  I can say all the "right" things and commit it all to prayer, but when they say things like, "A responsible parent wouldn't send their child to school...it's not worth the risk" or "I just want to grow up and go to college, get married and have kids," that's when the cold fear of terror hits me.  Are we making the right decisions?  What if?

How much do you expose your kids to the news versus sheltering them from it?  When they ask, "Do they kill people because they are Christians?" do you answer honestly?  When they question, "Are there terrorists in Tanzania?" how do you respond?

Hearing the brutal truth:  "Yes, terrorists are everywhere!  They are godless and soulless and can attack at anytime.  Islamic fundamentalists do hate Christians.  We are all unsafe:  anytime, anywhere!" and living in a grip of fear is more terrifying than anything the actual terrorists can do.  The other truth:  "Put your trust in God alone - He will shelter you under His wings...If anything happens and we are killed, we're going to a better place!" often rings hollow.

Nonetheless, today, instead of focusing on Al-Shabaab (the youth), I'm choosing to meditate on El-Shaddai (God Almighty).  I read Psalm 46 to the kids before school this morning and I was struck again by its message of comfort.

"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble."  (verse 1)  We don't need to be strong because He is the refuge.

"Nations are in uproar, kingdoms fall.  He lifts his voice, the earth melts" (verse 6). 
God is not surprised by any of this.  In fact, He promised that Christians would be persecuted for their faith.

"He makes wars cease to the ends of the earth; he breaks the bow and shatters the spear."  (verse 9).
God is more powerful than any terrorist group or nation.  They all exist only by His will.

"Be still and know that I am God.  I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." (verse 10).  
God has this all under control and whatever happens, we know that He will be glorified.

It is good for me to be reminded to "be still."  I am honestly less afraid at what will happen today as I am angry that our family has been in turmoil for 2 days over this.  A handful of terrorists have the ability to literally paralyze my children with fear and I can't protect their minds, let alone their bodies. But God can.

Please join me in praying specifically for East Africa today, and for protection for Christians around the world.

"The Lord Almighty is with us; the God of Jacob is our fortress."  (verse 11)

Waiting

The last time I posted about decision-making:  will we stay? will we go?  it was in late November

Although we made the decision in early January that we'll be moving back to the U.S., we intentionally haven't said anything publicly.  We wanted everything to fall into place so that we could trumpet to the world:  We're going back to New Jersey, at this time, to do this specific thing and execute this specific plan!  However, things are still not finalized and we're not sure when they will be.  Although returning to the U.S. does not feel nearly as exciting as heading to Africa, it is still a big leap of faith (and a lesson in patience).  We feel called to go back, although we're not sure how this will happen.

We've been in a very weird limbo for the past 3 months, keeping the news public but quiet, and we have really lapsed in our communication to the outside world because of it.  (Maybe because if we don't talk about it, it's not happening!)  However, the longer we go on, the harder it is to pretend that we're not facing another big life change.  More and more people know we're leaving and things are rolling on without us. We have people asking us if we're selling our stuff.  Just this morning, we had a family looking through our house and hoping to rent it.  I'm eyeing things with the intent to use them up before leaving.  Do I need to buy another jar of rosemary?

Yet we haven't yet fully committed to NJ living either.  Our kids aren't enrolled in school anywhere right now, neither of us has jobs, and we don't know exactly what date we'll be moving back into our house.  When we look to the future, there are many unanswered questions.

This we do know:  our contract with World Missions and HOPAC ends on June 30, and we have plane tickets home, arriving on July 22 at JFK airport.  Beyond that, we have wishes and hopes and dreams but not a lot of concrete anything.  For a recovering Type-A planning-loving perfectionist, this waiting is hard.

This we also know:  it is going to be really hard to leave.  We have made lots of friends and this place has felt like home in many ways.  Change is always harder than status quo.  Life is definitely more complicated, busier and more expensive in the U.S.

This we also know:  it would be really hard to stay long-term.  Neither one of us feels like support-raising is a particular strength and it's getting harder and harder each month.  Every time the kids are sick, my anxiety ratchets up.  Our car is not reliable and would require a major investment.  Looming ahead in just another 2 years are the Cambridge exams beginning for the kids.  Living here is difficult and day in, day out, it takes its toll.  I have so much respect for the people who grind it out here for years.

So, we wait.  And try to live each day in the moment, trusting that it's all going to work out.




(this was a photo that was going around Facebook recently...this particular one is from the blog Just a Girl Who Loves).