Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Misadventures in Communication

I came to Tanzania 8 months ago knowing only the most basic Swahili words (thank you, hello), but it is my great desire to learn the language.  I took a grammar class (reading/writing based) in the fall and since the New Year I've been working with the GPA approach which focuses on speaking and listening.  I spend over 15 hours a week really trying.

On good days, I feel like I am making some real progress.  On bad days, like today, I just want to give up.

Our gardener, Ayubu, does not speak any English.  He's also very uneducated and so his Swahili isn't readily understandable either.  Over the past few months, I've gotten pretty good at the basic pleasantries with him, but once it goes beyond the standard formula, I'm lost.

Several months ago, after I asked him how his family was, he used a whole bunch of words I didn't know.  I did understand that he was talking about his wife, and I thought I heard the verb "to go." So like a drowning woman, I grasped on to these words and went with them.  "Where is she going?"  "How long will she be gone?"

Ayubu is a pretty cheerful fellow and it always appears that he's laughing at me and my attempts to talk to him, but by the level of merriment I could tell that my interpretation was incorrect. He then tried to explain the situation to me in different words.  This time I picked up on the word "key" (or so I thought) and started a dialogue about "Do you need the key?"

Eventually, after many failed sentences and awkward pauses, I learned that he was actually saying that his wife was going to have a baby!  In August!  Wow, great news!!  And it gave me a new topic of conversation that I've been milking for 2 months:  "How's your wife feeling?"

Today, after asking how his holidays were and how his family was, he responded that God is helping them and they are well, "but"...he started talking about the baby, used the verb "finish," talked about "yesterday" and "hospital."  I thought, since the baby was due in August, that his wife had miscarried or had a stillborn.

Devastated for him, I tried to express how sorry I was.  I was struck by the fact that he still seemed in very good spirits and I spent the morning reflecting on how difficult life is in Africa for moms and babies. And then our house helper, Ray, (who speaks much clearer Swahili) came into the house with a big smile and told me that Ayubu's wife had a baby boy last night, named Imani (faith).

I got straight A's in Spanish!  I have a great memory!  Why, oh why, is this so difficult?

Truly, I just want to quit trying.  But I know that if I quit it is guaranteed that I'll never learn to speak and understand Swahili.  If I keep at it, there's a very small glimmer of hope that one day, Ayubu and I will be chatting up a storm.

God is using this to keep me humble.  And hopefully I'll exercise a little imani of my own that this will happen some day.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Cost of Living

When setting our budget for life in Tanzania, I believed that things would be a lot cheaper in Africa. And in some ways they are.  If you live like a Tanzanian (eat rice and beans every day, don't own a car, don't use a lot of health/beauty products), life is less costly here.  But for us Westerners who are still struggling to leave our big appetites and consumerist natures behind, some things are really expensive.

Things that are less expensive here:
* Fruit/veg:   bananas (15 cents each), mangoes (50 cents each), Pineapples (when in season, $1 or less, out of season still around $3 for a bigger, fresher version than can be found in the U.S.).  Tomatoes are sold by the "sado" (a big bucket) and while it's difficult to convert to pounds, it's probably about $1 per pound (all Roma).  Even apples, which are imported from South Africa, are still around 50 cents each, which is comparable to or less than the U.S.
*Bread ($1.25 for a pretty big loaf... of course the term "whole grain" is fairly unknown here, and with no preservatives it has to be eaten quickly).  A fairly decent French baguette can be found at the Western supermarkets for around $1.
*Cell phones.  We pay about $1.25 per person per week for a cell plan that gives us each 40 minutes of talk and 500 texts.  Also a nice feature here is that the talk minutes are calculated in seconds, so we don't get charged a full minute for a ten second conversation like we would in the U.S.!
*Internet.  We pay just over $30 a month for weekly bundles that give us a certain amount of "high speed" and then unlimited slow speeds.  Of course, even the "high" speeds are laughably slow compared to the U.S.  So please don't send us any videos!

Things that are comparable here:
* Ground beef...aka mince meat.  (roughly $3 a pound)
*Flour - around $2 for a 2 kg bag (about 4 pounds)
* Sugar - around $1.25 for a 1 kg bag - about 2 pounds
*Eggs - between $0.15 and $0.25 per egg, depending on if you get the "kinyege" egg (free range).  Even the free range eggs have yolks that are much less yellow than we're used to (they are white).
*Yogurt - between $0.50 - $0.60 per single-serving carton, which is a bit smaller than the U.S
*Pasta - here, unlike the U.S., the price depends on the shape of the pasta (spaghetti is cheapest at around $1.25 for the equivalent of a pound, other shapes are more like $2 or more).

Things that are way more expensive here:
*Milk:  It costs around $1.75 for a liter - which means our "gallon" equivalent is over $6!  I buy the boxed (shelf-stable) UHT milk (bonus:  no hormones in it).  Initially the kids didn't like it as it does have a different taste but they have gotten used to it.  The other option is to buy fresh, non-pasteurized milk which is a bit cheaper.  That's really different-tasting and different-textured for city kids and I personally don't like the hassle of boiling it first.
*Shampoo/conditioner which is around $6 for a 400-500 ml bottle
* Gasoline...aka petrol, which at 2200 shillings per liter coverts to over $5 per gallon
* Saline which is close to $10 for a bottle
*Cheddar cheese (around $7 a pound).  This is definitely one of our "splurge items."
*Security....not even a budget item for us in the U.S.  We pay close to $150 per month to get services that would be covered through our taxes back home...first responders, fire, ambulance.
*Chicken.  The boneless, skinless variety, which is only available at Western style supermarkets (and is not actually boneless or skinless), is around $7 a pound.  The roaster type of chicken, not genetically altered and so pretty scrawny with very little white meat, is generally around $5-$6 for a 3-4 pound bird. This has been a big adjustment for us - in the States we had chicken multiple times per week but here that's just not affordable.  So we have been eating a lot more beef (which I feel conflicted about) and vegetarian (which I'm happy about).

This past year has been all about learning prices and equivalents and determining what's worth extra money and what's not.  And as with anything, that's a continually evolving process (for example, it was totally worth it to buy a couple of Cadbury Creme Eggs at nearly $2/egg for Easter!)

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Rainy Season Begins

We had our first real taste of rainy season this weekend, and it turns out it's a lot like sitting through a NJ snowstorm: stuck inside watching movies and dangerous roads. We're not sure how long it'll last, but I suppose we could go mud-sledding when it's all over. Last night I had an up close and personal experience with the rain.

Some background: we live up on a hill, pretty well isolated from traffic and other city life. When we go "down the road" we really do go down a winding path. At the bottom of the hill, we hit a service road that runs parallel to the main highway of Dar Es Salaam. Between the service road and the highway is a very large ditch. The crossover between the service road and the highway is just to the south of our hill road. The highway is 2 lanes of traffic running north, then a median, and then 2 lanes of traffic running south.

Last night we decided to try to get takeout from "P Square," the restaurant just across the highway from our road. It's pretty much the closest possible place to us that a restaurant could be built. In good weather, it would be easy to walk down our hill, cross the highway (well, that's not always easy), and arrive at P Square in less than 10 minutes. Despite this closeness, Steph and I never actually have eaten there (it is fairly new). The kids have all had outings there with other families, and we heard very good things about the food and the prices. We felt it was high time to rectify our oversight!

Our friend and fellow teacher Dan lives just up the road from us on the hill. His wife is out of town this weekend so we invited him over. (Dan's a fellow game player and shares Dutch reformed roots, so he is always welcome here!) The plan was for Dan and I to go on down to P Square, pick up some food, and head back. It was currently only drizzling, but it had been raining all day, so we decided to drive. I felt bad about that, since it is so close!

Well, it was already raining pretty hard when we arrived. There is no real parking at P Square, so I pulled into the grass by an open field. Dan remarked how empty, barren, and dirty the field was. So ordering food here was the first interesting thing. P Square serves typical Tanzanian food...with no menu. I wanted to order some chips, some beef skewers (Mishkaki), chicken, and rice and beans. If I wasn't told what to order, I am not sure I would know what to get! Of course, our waitress didn't know what I wanted, so it took 2 waitresses and me writing our order down on paper for them to get that set.

When we first arrived, Dan and I sat down at a table near where the water ran down the roof. With the wind, the waitress was afraid we'd get wet, so she asked us to move. As we sat and waited (it took about an hour for the food), it was raining harder and harder. A pool of water outside the restaurant (it is a covered outdoor area) got over the lip of the concrete floor and the water started running beneath our feet, just a little. A few minutes later, it was an inch deep, so the waitress asked us to move again.

When we stood up and looked around us, we finally realized how bad the rain was and what was happening outside. The open field next to the car was actually where the run off from a culvert that ran under the highway came out. This field was now completely under water, and the water was running fast. It looked like a raging river, with whitewater-like rapids being created by bushes and trash in the field. The car was on the edge of this, and the street between us and the car was also completely under water. I started to worry.

I had the thought that if the water got any deeper, we might have trouble getting out of there, and I saw a patch of higher ground where I could park safely. After all their efforts to keep me dry, the wait staff must have chuckled when I just walked out into the downpour. Crossing the street was shocking...the water was already half way up my shin and really had quite a current! I moved the car safely, and made it back to the restaurant completely soaked after only maybe a minute outside. Dan helpfully filmed the whole thing on his smart phone.

Well, the culvert was now putting out water at full volume. We said, "the good news is that it can't get any deeper, it's already to full capacity." Dan then thought, "unless the water starts coming over the highway." Ha, that couldn't happen!

We got our food just after that, and paid. It could only have been 5 minutes. And as we left, we realized that indeed, the water was coming over the highway. As we crossed the street, it was already much deeper, and Dan actually fell in a pretty deep hole. Thinking fast, he was able to keep the food dry! The water was filthy and smelly, though, and he definitely need to change.

Once we could see the highway, it was like another world. Water was everywhere. A motorcycle crossed in front of us in the south-bound lanes and got stuck when the water came up to his hubcaps. Once we crossed the road into the north bound lanes, the road was almost completely impassable. The water was DEEP, and the large ditch separating the highway from the service road was invisible, completely under water. In fact, there was no sign off the area where I needed to cross from the highway to the service road. We realized this when we saw an SUV halfway on the road and halfway in the ditch (and therefore halfway submerged). They guessed incorrectly.

We managed to go north a bit and made it to the next cross over which was on higher ground. A bajaji was stuck in the mud, but we got around him and then back up our hill. Whew!

In review: went to get food across the street, waited an hour, forded a river, avoided driving off the road only due to another person doing it first, ate food! It was pretty good.

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

One Year

One year ago today, I quit my job as an insurance underwriter without a backup plan.  After months of struggle, Tim and I decided that life was too short for me to be that miserable and together we took the first of many leaps of faith.

While I don't regret that decision now, there have been many raw moments of heartache over the past year when I just cried out to God for a do-over, "Why didn't I just stay where I was?!  Yeah, it wasn't great, but it wasn't too bad.  And it paid well.  And I could use my brain and take care of my family simultaneously - who ever gets that chance?"  I felt a lot like the Israelites in the desert...they knew that being slaves in Egypt wasn't fun but at least they had grapes and pomegranates there (Numbers 20:5).   It's so easy for me to see that God wanted something infinitely better for His people Israel, but so difficult to see this same desire in my own life.

The honest truth is that I never, ever wanted to be a stay at home mom...and especially not one whose youngest child is 7 years old.  Although I quit my job without a next step, I truly believed that I would work again soon.  I had been talking to some companies within my industry and was also toying with the idea of starting a consulting business.  But every door was closed and once it became clear that our next step was to move to Africa, I was thankful for the time I had to coordinate this epic move.

Again, when I moved to Tanzania, I really believed that I would take a few months to get everybody settled but then I would return to work.  Then the realities of having a dependent visa and not knowing a word of Swahili became apparent.  I honestly don't know if I will work while I'm here and I need to make peace with that.  I can't worry about the glaring gap in my resume and whether or not I'll ever get a job again when we do return to the U.S. (let alone a career to which I feel called).

I have spent the past year doing more crying, trusting, despairing, growing, and doubting than I ever have before.  I've learned that my identity was unhealthily wrapped up in my job and in what I do rather than who I am.  I've realized that I have a lot of shame in not working.

However, I've also learned that even though I'm not earning money or "producing," I'm still doing necessary work and I am using the intelligence God has given me.  I have discerned a lot about myself and my personality, my strengths and weaknesses, and the core values I hold dear.  I've confronted the judgmental attitudes I've had towards women who don't work and repented of this failing.  I'm slowly realizing that this "idle" time is a gift and it is a blessing to be free from the entrapment of a soul-sucking life.  It's a blessing to spend time with my children and my husband and I'm thankful that we can afford to have one adult at home to handle the myriad of logistics to living and parenting in Africa.

I still really, really miss working.   I wish God would share the future (and an amazing, uplifting career) with me.  But in the meantime, I'm trying to take one day at a time, trust in God's perfect timing, listen for His voice, and learn everything I can in this continuing season of unemployment.


Saturday, April 5, 2014

Greetings

One of the most readily apparent differences between Tanzanian and Western culture is the heavy emphasis placed on greeting one another here.  Coming from a somewhat-unfriendly area of America (NJ) I was definitely not prepared for this!  Back home, I might smile at a store clerk and occasionally give the non-greeting of "Hi, how are you?" (which may or may not have received a response), but I definitely would never inquire of their family or ask how their job was going.  Even to my friends, it was always a casual, "Hey!  What's up?"

Here in Tanzania, greetings are pretty essential.  My non-scientific analysis seems to show that 2 greetings is a good amount for most people.  Most of the time, this is fine, but if I'm feeling particularly task-oriented or introverted, I long for the days of the anonymous store transaction or the casual "Hi!" across the playground.

Tanzanians love their greetings and seem to have an infinite variety.  My gardener, in particular, is always trying out new ones on me which I then look up in my dictionary.  The good news is that for the vast majority of greetings, the correct response is "Nzuri" (good)....even when things are not nzuri.  You can also deviate into "safi," which literally means "clean."  That one always makes me laugh, because with all the dust and grime here, I don't think I can ever report than I am truly "safi."  Another option is to add "sana" (very) if you're really doing well.  Nzuri sana!  Safi sana!

Here are a few examples from the vast array of greetings.

Time-related greetings:
Habari za asubuhi (how's your morning?)
Habari za kuamka (how did you wake up?)
Habari za mchana  (how's your mid-day?)
Habari za jioni (how's your late afternoon?)
Habari za usiku (how's your evening?)
Habari za leo (how's your day?)

Note that "habari" actually means "news," and so a more literal translation would be "what's the news of your morning?"  However, since no actual news is ever given, just the "good" answer, I think that's a more accurate representation.  I find the mchana and jioni ones a bit tricky, as "mchana" is only technically from 12-4 and "jioni" is only from 4-7 pm...I realize this obsession with correctness is not very African, but what can you do?

Then there are more specific greetings:
Habari za nyumbani (how's it at home)?
Habari za kazi (how is your job)?
Unaendaleaje?  (how are you continuing?)

The tricky one for me is the category of "problem" greetings because in Swahili, the way to say negative things changes depending on the subject of the sentence:
Hujambo?  (you have no problems).  Response:  sijambo (I have no problems).  Again, even if you do have problems, you don't report on this.
But if the person asks about your kids, they would ask, "watoto hawajambo?" and the response would be "hawajambo" (they have no problems).

Finally, there are the one-word greetings (my favorites):
Salaama! (peace)  Response:  salaama
Mzima!  (everything)  Response:  mzima
Mambo (how are things?) Response:  poa (calm)
Shikamoo (to elders) Response:  marahaba

Most days I walk to school to pick up the kids and I pass a large contingent of Masaai on the hill.  Every day I try out a new greeting on them, so I'm remembering quite a nice variety these days.